If Women Rule The World....

A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing. Medical research money would be spent on developing new birth control methods for men. Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams. Baby-sitting, doing dishes and making beds would be considered "Macho". The hem of men's pants would go up or down depending on the economy. Men would be forced to purchase overpriced clothes every season. Minnie Mouse would get equal billing with Mickey. Fewer women would be dieting because the ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds. Overweight men would be encouraged to wear girdles. PMS would be a legitimate defense in court. Men would come with papers showing their true identity, marital and employment status, if they live with their mother, and whether they have had their shots. Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity. Men would get reputations for sleeping around. "Ms Magazine" would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models. Men who designed women's shoes would be forced to wear them. Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime. Men would be as attentive AFTER marriage as they were before. Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit. Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks". Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women make. Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas. Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures. Men would learn phrases like: I'm sorry, I love you, You're beautiful, Of course you don't look fat in that outfit, Go to sleep-I'll take care of the baby, etc. Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments. Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking. Men would pay as much attention to their women as their cars. All toilet seats would be nailed down. Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers. TV news segments on sports would never run longer than one minute. All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator. Men would have their wedding rings permanently attached so they can't pretend to be single. During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year old men. Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.