Mississippi Squirrel Revival

 

 

 

Sittin’ Up With the Dead

 

 

 

The Streak

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. You’ve always wished for it, and your wish has come true: There’s now a twenty-fifth hour in the day, but you have to spend it the same way every day on something you don’t have enough time for now, and it can’t be for sleep. How will you spend this extra hour every day?

Blogging, of course.

 

2. As if that weren’t enough, an extra day has been added to the calendar, and you can insert it anywhere you want, except the day immediately before or after a holiday, and you have to spend it the same way every year. How will you spend this extra day each year, and when on the calendar will it appear?

Spend the day exploring my home town of St Louis, MO  I never seem to have the time to take in some of the sights.  I’d place it at the end of April.

 

3. Someone is giving you an extra twenty dollars per week (or its equivalent, if your country uses a different monetary unit) to spend any way you want, but you have to spend it the same way every week, and it has to be on yourself (no charity or gift-giving, and no investing or saving!). How will you spend this extra twenty dollars per week?

Books…You can never have too many books.

 

4. Wow! When you woke up this morning, you noticed that someone snuck in and added a new room to your living space! The room is for your exclusive use, and it can serve only one FUN function (and it can’t be used as a bedroom or storage). What fun activity will be reserved for this new room?

Home theater complete with Big Screen TV, surround sound, and stadium seating

 

5. A magic backpack appears at your doorstep. It will hold any one thing you can normally carry by yourself, it will render that item weightless, and it will collapse to the size of a small pack of gum. What will you carry in it?

 

Since we’re in the planning stages for the cruise we’re planning to go on next year, the thing that comes to mind is luggage

 

Here's the questions for you to copy

1. You’ve always wished for it, and your wish has come true: There’s now a twenty-fifth hour in the day, but you have to spend it the same way every day on something you don’t have enough time for now, and it can’t be for sleep. How will you spend this extra hour every day?
2. As if that weren’t enough, an extra day has been added to the calendar, and you can insert it anywhere you want, except the day immediately before or after a holiday, and you have to spend it the same way every year. How will you spend this extra day each year, and when on the calendar will it appear?
3. Someone is giving you an extra twenty dollars per week (or its equivalent, if your country uses a different monetary unit) to spend any way you want, but you have to spend it the same way every week, and it has to be on yourself (no charity or gift-giving, and no investing or saving!). How will you spend this extra twenty dollars per week?
4. Wow! When you woke up this morning, you noticed that someone snuck in and added a new room to your living space! The room is for your exclusive use, and it can serve only one FUN function (and it can’t be used as a bedroom or storage). What fun activity will be reserved for this new room?
5. A magic backpack appears at your doorstep. It will hold any one thing you can normally carry by yourself, it will render that item weightless, and it will collapse to the size of a small pack of gum. What will you carry in it?

 

 

For my birthday this year my wife purchased me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it.

I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get started. They suggested I keep an "exercise diary" to chart my progress:

Day 1 Started the morning at 6:00 AM. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about ten points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though my gut was already aching a little from holding it in the whole time I was talking to her. This is going to be GREAT.

Day 2 Took a whole pot of coffee to get me out the door, but I made it. Tanya had me lie on my back and push this heavy iron bar up into the air. Then she put weights on it, for heaven's sake! Legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made it the full mile. Her smile made it all worth while. Muscles ALL feel GREAT.

Day 3 The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the tooth brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I am certain that I have developed a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer. I parked on top of a Volkswagen. Tanya was a little impatient with me and said my screaming was bothering the other club members. The treadmill hurt my chest so I did the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by the invention of elevators? Tanya told me regular exercise would make me live longer. I can't imagine anything worse.

Day 4 Tanya was waiting for me with her vampire teeth in a full snarl. I can't help it if I was half an hour late, it took me that long just to tie my shoes. She wanted me to lift dumbbells. Not a chance, Tanya. The word "dumb" must be in there for a reason. I hid in the men's room until she sent Lars looking for me. As punishment she made me try the rowing machine. It sank.

Day 5 I hate Tanya more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. If there was any part of my body not in extreme pain I would hit her with it. She thought it would be a good idea to work on my triceps. Well I have news for you Tanya - I don't have triceps. And if you don't want dents in the floor don't hand me any barbells. I refuse to accept responsibility for the damage, YOU went to sadist school, YOU are to blame. The treadmill flung me back into a science teacher, which hurt like crazy. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like a music teacher, or social studies?

Day 6 Got Tanya's message on my answering machine, wondering where I am. I lacked the strength to use the TV remote so I watched eleven straight hours of the weather channel.

Day 7 Well, that's the week. Thank goodness that's over. Maybe next time my wife will give me something a little more fun, like a gift certificate for a root canal.

Meatball Pizza

Unusual and uncompromising. You're usually the first to discover a new trend. You appreciate a good meal and good company. You're an interesting blend of traditional and modern.

What's Your Pizza Personality?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourpizzapersonalityquiz/

I thought the results were pretty interesting... 85% of women think their ass is too big. 10% of women think their ass is too little. The other 5% say that they don't care - they love him and would have married him anyway!