I thought the results were pretty interesting... 85% of women think their ass is too big. 10% of women think their ass is too little. The other 5% say that they don't care - they love him and would have married him anyway!

1. Ahhh, I see the @$%&#!-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... 8. I don't work here. I'm just a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. 10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap. 11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 23. No, my powers can only be used for good. 24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication. 25. Who me? I just wander from room to room. 26. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...? 27. Do I look like a people person? 28. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 29. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 30. You! Off my planet! 31. Does your train of thought have a caboose? 32. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 33. A PBS mind in an MTV world. 34. Allow me to introduce my SELVES. 35. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 36. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 37. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. 38. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 39. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 40. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. 41. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1? 42. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 43. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 44. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. 45. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 46. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks. 47. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 48. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

  New Seat Belt LAW
The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below.......

This is very Important, please pass on to friends and family.

THIS MAY
SAVE A LIFE!

Trivia Questions, August 6^th

1.     What is dry ice the solid form of?

2.     What is the fastest dog on flat ground?

3.     Red Connors was which TV cowboy’s sidekick?

4.     Where is the Atacama Desert located?

5.     What is the more familiar name for Europe’s Mont Cervin?

6.     In Greek mythology, which goddess was the protectress of women, marriage, and childbirth?

7.     According to the American Film Institute 100 Heroes and Villains, who ranks as the top hero and top villain respectively?

8.     In the world of Marvel Comics, what does the acronym S.H.I.E.L.D. stand for?

9.     What classic novel opens with the line: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife”?

10. What does “The Day the Music Died” refer to?

 Answers will be posted, Monday Aug. 13th

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Trivia Answers, July 30^th

1.     What is the first word of the Declaration of Independence?

When (in the course of human events….)

2.     What is the oldest continuously inhabited city in the world?

Damascus, Syria founded around 2500 B.C.

3.     By what name is singer Ernest Evans better known?

Chubby Checkers

4.     Name the NFL team to move from one city only later to return.

Oakland Raiders

5.     Who crafted and popularized the men’s wristwatch in 1904?

Louis Cartier

6.     What literary work gives us the quote: "To die will be an awfully big adventure."?

Peter Pan

7.     Name the movie that gives us this dialogue: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me! (Bonus: Name the character and the actor/actress who plays the role)

Miss Congeniality, Gracie Hart played by Sandra Bullock

8.     John Travolta first gained fame playing what sweathog in the 1975 show Welcome Back, Kotter.  (Bonus: Who played Kotter)

Vinnie Barbarino, Gabe Kaplan

9.     What motel chain used the slogan: We’ll leave a light on for you. ? (Name the spokesman)

Motel 6, Tom Bodett

10.  In math, what is the lowest prime number?

Two