1.    When were you the coldest you’ve ever been?

Several years ago I was working part time as a janitor at a department store.  It was March I believe and a tornad and/or a wind shear tore off part of the roof.  When the major part of the storm passed, the men employees went out to pick up parts of the roof from the parking lot.  We all were soaked...the wind was penetrating.  It was the only time in my life that coffee actually tasted good.

2.     When were you the hottest you’ve ever been?

4-5 years ago during the hottest part of the summer, the AC unit at work broke down.  Because our manager (at the time ) was a wimp and never complained, staff worked in heat of over a 100 degrees for almost a full week.  Staff got sick.  The public complained.  The Library Administration adopted heat/cold guidelines after our long hot summer.

3.    When were you the tiredest you’ve ever been?

I worked all day.  Then went over to a friends house to help him load his truck to move out of town.  All the other helpers had bailed on him.  We got everything loaded after midnight.

4.    When were you the most stressed you’ve ever been?

I had a boss from hades about 14 years ago.  She placed unrealistic expectations on my job performance, gave bad evaluations, and three months after she took over my department I ended up in an outpatient Stress program.  I finally was able to transfer out of HQ to a branch.

5.    When were you the dirtiest you’ve ever been?

My "practice wife" and I were moving.  It had rained the morning of the move.  We were finished loading the truck and my feet slipped out from under me and I landed in a big mud puddle.  All the clothes had been moved so I was drenched, muddy, and embarrassed at the same time.  Threw some of the the moving pads on the car seat to protect it.

Here are the questions:

1. When were you the coldest you’ve ever been?
2. When were you the hottest you’ve ever been?
3. When were you the tiredest you’ve ever been?
4. When were you the most stressed you’ve ever been?
5. When were you the dirtiest you’ve ever been?

 

 

 

To my darling husband,

Before you return from your trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately, not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway, I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. the garage door is slightly bent but the pick-up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you, my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife.
XXX 

 

P.S. Your girlfriend called.

 

 

 

hoto Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket">

 

 

You Think A Gallon Of Gas Is Expensive? This makes one think, and puts things in perspective.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29...	$10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19...	$ 9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59...	$10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25...	$10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15...	$33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz. $8.35...	$178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85...	$123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39...	$25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99...	$84.48 per gallon
and this is the REAL KICKER... Evian water 9 oz for $1.49...	$21.19 per gallon and the buyers don't even know the source.

So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad you car doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, or God forbid PEPTO BISMOL or NYQUIL!!! Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump!!!